She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
