"it" just moved
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
