hotel room ftw
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
