what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
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Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
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I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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