I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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