Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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