Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
