i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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