As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
