she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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