speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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