im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
