the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
