Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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