yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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