so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
