Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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