i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
