Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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