So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
