god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
