Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
