I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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