On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
