I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
