he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
