we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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