was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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