So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
