you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
