Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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