Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
