man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
