I think im going to throw up on grandma
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?