Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
