I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
zippers are such a cool invention
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.