Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

All I've ever wanted to do in life is right

(517): View more from Michigan

Maybe you should learn how to spell write first

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(619): View more from California

dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(440): View more from Ohio

"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.

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(972): View more from Texas

I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.

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(613): View more from Ontario

How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza

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