I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..