You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
