he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
