No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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