I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize