You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Two words: nipple clamps
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