He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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