I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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