I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
did you just send me my own nude
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
