Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
