i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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