Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
