Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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