Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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