Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
These tits shall not be calmed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
