Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
