I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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