i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Rumble strips road head = magical
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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