dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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