Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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