gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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