the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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