Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
