Screwed.edu
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
