i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
