I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
