also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
