Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
