Where is the hickey?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
