It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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