hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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