Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Life is so much better after having sex.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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