I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
