How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
